Perspective, anyone?

So, apparently someone famous died last night*. I’m not sure which I’m more impressed by – the fact Wikipedia had already updated with his death before the BBC News had even reported it, or the speed with which the jokes hit Twitter.

But seriously guys, he was only a pop singer. Ok, so he was a rather famous one, who despite his eccentricities made quite a contribution to music. But this behaviour: the wailing in the streets, the desperation to be near his place of death, the panic and mass hysteria – is it really necessary, let alone proportionate?

Believe it or not, other things did happen yesterday. Things that actually impact people, that might make more of a difference to the world. Corus cut 2000 jobs – big impact on the local economy. China started censoring Google again – massive issues for the Chinese and the openness of the web. Evidence was found for water on Enceladus, one of Saturn’s moons – a huge leap in the search for extraterrestrial life. The protests in Iran are ongoing. The oil refinery strikes continue. The list goes on… And these are just the big headlines, things still happened on a smaller scale that made far more of a difference to more people than the death of “Wacko Jacko”.

So guys, feel free to be upset that Michael Jackson has died, but wonder whether all this effort that you’re putting in mourning the loss of this one guy is really proportional to the effect on the world this event has, and maybe take a moment to think of all the other people suffering far worse.

*Oh, and “died of a cardiac arrest”? Grrrrr….

Calling in County

The patient’s really drunk, so we’re calling in County

This phrase really pisses me off (aside from the fact that “really drunk” patients in the eyes of most FAs are actually not that drunk, and can generally be woken up easily, rarely requiring the assistance of the NHS). What the hell does “calling in County” mean?

I’ve only ever heard it used by members of SJA North Yorkshire & Teeside. Apparently, it means “I am dialing 999 and requesting an NHS ambulance to attend”. And every time I hear it, the phrase annoys the crap out of me. Why?

Let’s start with some basics here. “County” could mean anything. The people you are calling are Yorkshire Ambulance Service. Learn the words! This name should be very easy to remember:

• Yorkshire: It’s the largest county in Britain. It’s also the one we happen to be in.
• Ambulance: The thing you require.
• Service: Ok, so you might have a small problem with this one, but just think, they’re providing you with a service. An ambulance service, to be precise.

YAS

We can make this even easier. The shortened name for Yorkshire Ambulance Service is “YAS” (pronounced exactly as you read it). An alternative is “NHS” (pronounced en hayj ess), the underlying organisation that the ambulance service gets its money from. And finally, you could always say “I am calling an ambulance” or even “dialing 999″.

Now it’s not just the use of an improper name that annoys me. “County” may be acceptable slang, were it not for the fact that “County Ambulance Service” are an actual company! They provide patient transport services, event cover and first aid training in the east of England. This conflict makes things even more confusing, especially when you say “that’s a county ambulance” because any normal person responds “no, it’s an NHS ambulance”, and those extra geeky types look around for the vehicle belonging to County.

Then we reach the other problem I have with the phrase. People always sound so excited by it, dramatically stating “we’re calling in County” in the manner that has been handed down to them by generation after generation of members. It seems that by doing said “calling”, they personally are going to save the day, by conjuring up some great magic demon in yellow and green who can solve all problems. Of course, the person saying it is also the coolest of all, there because they got to speak to the great voice in the sky, The Call Taker. Anyone who repeats the phrase in a melodramatic manner also gets bonus cool points, just for being involved.

Now guys, I know we’re Johnnies and all that, but calm down. We’ve all seen ambulances before. They’re big, invariably yellow nowadays, and make “woo woo” noises. Here’s one:

An ambulance

However, they are not so exciting that they need to be revered as some godlike creatures that can be summoned up and used in a game of Johnny Top Trumps – “I’ve called more ambulances than you, nar nar ne nar nar!”.

Please, guys, lets try and be sensible. If you call an ambulance, say just that. If you want to be more exact, say “YAS” or “NHS”. There is absolutely no need for a confusing and overly dramatic phrase, just to make ourselves sound like a dick feel special. Remember, we’re calling the ambulance because we have a seriously ill patient, so lets be professional about it.

Admissions tests: Quick and easy cash!

[Apologies for the lack of posts - busy with May Week, graduation, moving house, looking for a job...]

I’ve been looking at the admissions tests I need for applying to grad medicine. One that keeps cropping up is GAMSAT, particularly geared towards graduates. The issue here is that it’s particularly geared towards biology graduates. Despite the course websites stating that they accept “Sciences”, or even “Geology” as an appropriate first degree, one still has to pass GAMSAT, usually with an around 60% mark, which claims on the website that you’ll need first year biology and chemistry knowledge. Crap, I haven’t even done A2 biology (though I’m working on that now – it’s really rather interesting, but that’s beside the piont).

“So just do the test, if you fail then never mind, try again later”, I imagine you’re saying. There’s a slight catch to this – the test costs ~£160 plus VAT, and you have to buy past papers (well, the one mock paper available) pushing the cost up to around £200. This strikes me of being somewhat rediculous, that I could spend £200 on something that has a high chance of screwing over my plans of a future career.

The other admissions tests aren’t so bad, ranging from forty to sixty pounds. But still, this is a silly price to pay for something that chances are you won’t even get something positive out of. The problem is, I can’t “take a stand” and refuse to pay all that money – then I’ll have an even lower chance of getting in!

<soapbox> This system annoys the hell out of me. People who genuinely have a desire to do medicine are being rejected, and even put off applying, due to the financial implications of taking the admissions tests. As if graduate medicine isn’t already expensive enough, now you have to pay for the tests, as well as devote the time to learning the material which you could spend in employment so you can afford to work like crazy for the next four years of your life. Not even that – some admissions tests such as GAMSAT aren’t even designed to let the majority of people onto the course, those who haven’t already done a biology degree. This puts people like me who really want to do medicine [yeah, so it's all about me, not really indignation for the rest of society] at a disadvantage against others, like a few people at Caius I could name, who have done a biochemistry degree and are applying for grad medicine as “something to fill the time”. The test doesn’t measure your “dedication” to learning medicine, it unfairly discriminates against certain students who, according to the course websites, should be more than capable of handling the degree. </soapbox>

Ok, so other universities use the standard admissions tests (expecting A2 biology, chemisty and physics) and some don’t even want that, relying on your interview and undergraduate grades. IMO this is the fairest way to do it, and encourages people who want to do medicine to apply from all walks of life and from a level playing field – a graduate on any subject should be able to cope with A2 biology and chemistry [do I speak too soon?]

What is the solution? For me, I could spend another two hundred quid on a set of text books? Spend about the same on some intensive course? I really can’t afford that, money or time wise. If you can think of anything better, let me know! All I know, is someone somewhere is making an absolute fortune flogging these tests, and others are making piles of money selling their “guru schemes” and other daftly named textbooks for those with desperation and daddy’s credit card. And they’re going to keep making money, because people are going to keep taking the tests. Me included!

As a final note, I know the admissions test isn’t everything when it comes to getting on the course. But if I don’t do well enough on the exams, despite having spent ~£250 on tests this August, I won’t even get as far as them looking at my past grades, my experience, or inviting me to interview. God, this is a depressing thought.

Censorship (again)

My, I’m getting into trouble over this blog malarky thing. Apparently, talking freely about what I spend my spare time doing isn’t allowed any more.

“I didn’t see him”

Bollocks. In not-a-huge-shock, the bus driver who tried to drag me down the road escaped without charge. The police actually got as far as arresting the guy, but predictably his statement (paraphrased) was:

“I can’t remember being stuck behind some bikes. I can’t remembered driving up behind them aggressively, revving the engine and honking the horn.  I vaguely remember pulling in to a bus stop. I was looking at my mirror when closing the door so didn’t notice the man shouting at me to stop getting stuck in it. I didn’t notice the man stuck in the door as I was driving, despite the fact he was shouting at me and I was responding. I didn’t let him out because I thought he was going to attack me. I didn’t speak to him, not even to say the I didn’t care and that I would be late. I can’t remember what happened afterwards”

The police certainly sounded like they were treating this statement like the crock of shit it is, but their hands were tied as expected by the CPS’s desire to avoid spending any money whatsoever chasing dangerous people in Cambridge. At least the driver got a day in the cells and it’ll be noted on his intelligence record.

Facebook notes suck

Importing blog posts into facebook notes seemed like a good idea at the time. However, now I’m pissed off because they don’t want to update. I can force an update by stopping importing, then re-importing the rss feed. But for some reason it won’t do it automagically anymore, and every so often loses the feed. This might be an issue with the way WordPress handles feeds? The link is <http://nickopotamus.wordpress.com/feed>, and it’s that which notes keeps dropping. The alternative is to append /rss on the end, but that’s rubbish because a) It loses most of the post and b) It’ll probably drop that. I guess I need a proper file to point to rather than a directory? Ideas anyone?

Thanks facebook, I got my boobs done!

I was a bit worried today to find this advert flashing at my when I opened facebook today. Now I know this isn’t a normal reaction when a man is faced with a hot blond in underwear, and I admit that my first response was to stare. That lead to me reading the surrounding words (flashing pink things get a bit distracting when trying to look at semi-naked women) and get a little concerned by the content of the advert.

In what way is it sensible to advertise cosmetic procedures to school and college aged kids? Ok, it’s sensible from the advertisers point of view – lets prey on a bunch of young women who have body issues and want to look like the people they see on TV. They’re bound to have a look at what we have to offer! But I mean in what way is it sensible in a moral way, for the aforementioned reasons?

There are enough issues with teenage girls starving themselves or wanting surgery or whatever without facebook joing in. So please facebook, consider the moral implications of the adverts you post before the profits.

Paedofinder General?

In a story that would make the Paedofinder General proud, the hysterical masses in the guise of Warriors for Innocence have gone on a frankly ridiculous livejournal censorship session, encouraging lj owners Six Apart to remove all blogs mentioning incest, rape, or anything to do with possible paedophilia.

Don’t get me wrong – I want to keep kiddy porn off the net as much as the next man (well, depends on who the next man is ). But the issue is, if you were really into that stuff, you wouldn’t post it online in such an overt way. Yet if you were for example a survivor running a support group, you would. So by doing this the only people who will be harmed are those who already have been. I wish people would think sometimes.

If it wasn’t for revision, I’d have a major rant. But instead, here’s the most recent PBF comic because it made me laugh.

Are people really this stupid? II

Who’d have thought you could take the already ridiculous litigation culture much, much further?

Recommended watching.. TWO!

Yeah, it’s a Time Crisis joke. I’m such a geek.

Anyway, in another “here’s how to waste time while you should be revising”, I give you: Louis Theroux meets “The most hated family in America”

Yup, it’s Fred Phelps and his family (at least, the bits of his family he still likes) in The Westboro Baptist Church.

Words cannot do this justice. Just watch the show, and you’ll see why.