There’s no shortage on the internet of simple toys to play with that will fill endless hours of your life. However, if you need a new one, may I recommend ToneMatrix.
Fantastically simple, the track reads from left to right, and you set which of the 16 tones plays in each time slice. Within a few clicks I had something that sounded scarily like the early years of Underworld, and I was hooked, endlessly altering that one note to get just the right beat (that, and it has added prettiness in the background).
So go on, click over there. But only if you fancy losing a couple of hours!
Someone with far too much free time has put together snippets of the 100 greatest hits of YouTube into a video less than four minutes long. I don’t have enough free time to do much blogging, so I’m going to use their hard work and effort to fill space.
Everyone loves internet memes. By which I mean, bloggers with nothing sensible to say love them, everyone else finds them an annoying waste of bandwidth that most likely loses readership.
To that end, here’s a collision of two of the greatest memes of all time (slight hyperbole, maybe): Kanye West and Admiral Ackbar:
I *heart* Dinosaur Comics. So of course, I had to love “T-Rex is Lonely Comics“, a mung of panels from Dinosaur Comics featuring only T-Rex into another story.
I’ve spent most of the day so far telling swine flu jokes over Twitter, but this one made me laugh more than most (and is too big to send in 140 characters):
This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed at home
This little piggy had roast beef for dinner
This little piggy had none
And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found out that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’, replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the way home.
By the power invested in me by the hysterical uneducated masses...
Microsoft have unleashed their latest weapon in the war against Google – Bing, apparently designed to “help people make better decisions” (not steal market share and ad revenue from Google, as I expected). Corporate bullshit lingo ahoy!
Microsoft Corp. today unveiled Bing, a new Decision Engine and consumer brand, providing customers with a first step in moving beyond search to help make faster, more informed decisions… The result of this new approach is an important beginning for a new and more powerful kind of search service, which Microsoft is calling a Decision Engine, designed to empower people to gain insight and knowledge from the Web, moving more quickly to important decisions (Microsoft.com)
So what’s it like? As a Google fanboy (Mail, Calendar, Reader, Homepage, Maps, Gears, Cathy’s G1 which at some point I need to acquire; I love them all) there’s very little chance of conversion, especially with the upcoming Google Wave which appeals to my annoying social networking drive. But I thought I’d best keep to my geek credentials and check it out.
My first impression – not hugely impressed. As much as MS would like to think of it as a revolutionary “decision engine” to provide better “search experiences”, it is just a search engine. Sure, they’ve built in lots of gadgets like shopping and video searches, but that’s common now. And where is all the “do gooding” likeSummer of Code and Labs that makes me love Google so?
Hang on! That video search? That has one very nifty feature, namely autoplay of a video when you pass your mouse over it. Now that’s handy…
This is just too good. One of the features of Microsoft’s just launched Bing search engine is that it auto-plays videos in results when you hover over them. Naturally, the first thing a number of people, like Loic Le Meur, did was search for “sex” or “porn.” The results are majestic — if you’re a teenager looking for a way around porn filters on your computer. And this isn’t artful porn or something like it, it’s straight-up, hardcore pornography (TechChrunch)
Number one search hit already...
Now was this an intended feature? Or just a “happy” consequence of Microsoft’s helpfullness to the consumer? Either way I can see a huge market share of underage teens heading their way…
I vaguely recall posting this a while back, but it seems to have disappeared into the ether. That, and I didn’t have the readership I have now to corrupt back then.
My mind is all over the place at the moment, for some reason I’m getting hyperstressed over analysing every little thing. Guess life is just catching up with me now I’ve got a few slow days. But as part of my procrastination to avoid doing anything useful, I’m copying all the shit from my old laptop onto my desktop, and I happened across an old video which made me laugh out loud and has totally cheered me up So without further ado, I give you: Shingo Mama no OHAAAAA!
If you want to sing along, and I heartly recommend you do, lyrics are enclosed:
Shingo mama desu minna kyou mo genki ni aisatsu shita yo ne
Yancha bouzu yancha gaaru ohisama yori mo haya oki
Asa gohan chanto tabeta? minna de taberu to oishii
Shingo mama wa ryouri jouzu oishii gohan wo tsukurou
Mama to papa oniisan oneesan ojiisan obaasan otonarisan mo
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Itadakimasu
Oha de mayo chutchu
Kitto mama mo kimi no koto ga dare yori ichiban suki da yo
Kimi no mama ni dakara kyou wa asa nebou sasete ageyou
Mama to papa oniisan oneesan ojiisan obaasan otonarisan mo
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Itadakimasu
Oha de mayo chutchu
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Shingo mama wa ryouri jouzu oishii gohan wo tsukurou
Kitto mama mo daimanzoku odekake chutchu shite kureru
Mama to papa oniisan oneesan ojiisan obaasan otonarisan mo
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Mama wa itsumo genki deesu minna no koto ga daisuki da yo
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Itadakimaasu
Oha de mayo chutchu
Odekake chutchu
Oha de mayo chutchu
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha (oha)
Oha
Twitter. All the cool kids are doing it. So The Telegraph decided, being down with kids like The Big C, decided to use Twitter to get some reader participation going regarding that decidedly uncool and certainly not down with the kids budget.
To do this, they embedded a Twitterfall on their budget homepage. This shows an almost realitime updated list of tweets regarding a particular topic, using “hashtags“. So in this case, whenever anyone wrote “#budget” in an update, this got posted to the Torygraph website.
Is this some people spoiling a feature for the rest of is, akin to internet vandalism? Personally, I think not. It’s a rather humourous demonstration of the power of social networking, and almost a message to traditional media that they really need to think before employing “Web 2.0” (*shudder*) technologies as they need to work out that they cannot control what people are coming out with.
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Dysphoric Mania
Rants and raves from a geologist come ambulance man come medical student. Throw in a bit of internet geekery and mentalist pride and this blog is the result. Mostly coherent, sometimes relevant, occasionally sensible, never worth reading.
Posted by nickopotamus 
Posted by nickopotamus 
Posted by nickopotamus 
So without further ado, I give you: Shingo Mama no OHAAAAA!
